My Student

Today was a first in our house.  Our oldest started school.  Sure, she has been in "school" for the past three years.  Preschool.  But, today was the beginning of her life in "real" school.  I say real school merely because it is the first time she will be away for the entire day.  She does have a rest time built in to her schedule, but, she will be inside a school building from 8:30 until 2:50.  That is all day!

As I was getting ready for today I got really sentimental.  I cried.  I know, I know, those of you who know me well know that I cry at the drop of a hat.  But, these weren't all tears of joy.  I was crying, and still am, because I had to let go a little today.  And I didn't like that....not at all.  Mainly because days like today make me think of her like this,

or this,

or this.

But nothing in me was ready for this:

or this.

Most especially, I was not ready for this,

but it made it easier that she didn't cling to my leg yelling, "Mommy, I don't want you to leave."  Sort of.  There is a part of me that wants that.  Wants her to need me to be there for her to keep her "safe".   But, the rest of me knows that it doesn't go on forever.  That she is growing and becoming her own person.  

Don't get me wrong, I am so super proud of her.  She has such a strong spirit and such a beautiful heart.  I just wish that she could stay like this,

maybe just one more day.  

I am giving myself the rest of the day to be whiney and sappy.  I think I have earned it!  Tomorrow, back to the grind, but for now, I am going to go snuggle my baby.